So I’m another year older, maybe a year wiser and most definately a year deeper into my 30s. Today has been a lovely day of treats and spending time with the menfolk but as I settle into the night before christmas I find myself wondering if I’ve spent my year wisely.

I don’t have a huge circle of good friends, I find it difficult to connect with people in general but when I do I cling on to that connection for dear life. Recently I’ve got to thinking about how some of those connections have withered. I’m not sure why, but they have.
Maybe I’m too self absorbed or my opinion is too barmy. Maybe I’m so far removed from who I used to be, I mean, in the past 5 years a heck of a lot of life changing stuff has happened. How I’m expected to be exactly the same really is beyond me. How do I not adadpt to these things?
Maybe I set more store by my friendships? Throwing myself into a strong relationship that others just see as a distant friendship.

Maybe I am a truely terrible friend, maybe I’m never there for others when they need me to be. Maybe while my Grandparents were dying, my son was being born and we were changing our homelife they needed me to buy them a pint of milk or peel them a grape?

Well, 2014 won’t have these connections nor will I obsess over what ‘I’ did wrong. Instead, I’ll be even more guarded and carefull who I do connect with.